Photo Shootout

I participated in my second Facebook Photo Shootout today. This is an interesting and fun exercise, described as follows on the Group page in Facebook:

Randomly, a shoot out is announced. On the day of the shootout, the secret ingredient is messaged to the group. Photographs must be taken and uploaded during the 24 hours after the secret ingredient is reveal. The photos will be left up for a few days then deleted over the next few days as the forum counts down to the next shootout. The final remaining photo will become the group avatar for the next shootout.

Today's ingredient was "pet" so of course over hundreds of photos of dogs and cats were uploaded. I couldn't resist and contributed mine. This photo below is not one of the ones I uploaded, I'll share those later. After I had my fun with Jozy, I was throwing her the dogobie and Carlee took this shot. Thought I would upload it for my daily portrait project.

Milk or a White Russian

Drinking a White Russian while watching Milk. Good movie.

Bon Iver - Blindsided

You can just hit play on this and then go about doing something else. Great mellow song to have on in the background as you try to catch up on all of the things you needed to get done before the weekend hits. Right around 3:30 in though, you might want to flip back to this screen and watch a little guitar work.

Bon Iver has been on my favorite list for a while and was one of the mandatory inclusions on my best of 2008 mix. Just needed to be done.

Kopanya: 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup Ball

According to FIFA: The word 'kopanya' comes from Southern Sesotho, an official language spoken by almost five million people throughout the rainbow nation. Literally translated, kopanya means "join together".

The Kopanya is the official ball of the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup. In case you are not up to speed on the Confederations Cup, it is s an eight team tournament, consisting of the six winners of regional international tournaments plus the World Cup holders and the World Cup hosts. These two groups of four and then top two winners of each group go to the semis. And yes, the US is in this tournament. Our draw is tough and includes games against Italy and Brazil! I am definitely going to be looking forward to some upsets.

Verification

My wife and I are investigating refinancing our house as a result of some of the great offers out there on the market. This involves a lot of paperwork that is almost all handled by my wife. However, I have not successfully gotten out of all responsibilities. Sometimes the mortgage company calls:

Agent: Hello Mr. LaBar. We are processing your paperwork and wanted to verify your place of employment. We called the general number and reached a Mrs. Peabody. She did not know who you are.
Me: What number did you call?
Agent: The general number. Can we have your supervisor's number?
Me: I guess I could give you his number but I think he would find it a little strange when you called him.
Agent: Hmm...well, can you just give the phone to the person sitting next to you?

All this for a brief chuckle and follow-up for yet another impact of being a telecommuter...

In a Meeting

By my calculations, when today is over, I will have been on the phone for 7 out of 8 hours. So one of the downsides of being a telecommuter is always being on the phone. Of course, two of the upsides is that the dress code in my office is much more casual and no one looks at me weird when I set up a tripod and take my portrait.

US vs. Mexico Tickets (or a Bar)

The February 11th World Cup qualifying game between the US and Mexico is officially sold out. How long did it take them to sell out? 90 minutes. Interesting number.

The game is at 7 PM eastern in Columbus, Ohio. There is a decent chance I will be in NJ that day. I am currently searching for the best soccer bars in the Trenton/Princeton area. All recommendations welcome.

Don't Tread on Me.

End of the Rainbow

Here is the website where you can find a listing of every free mp3 available at Amazon. Nice.

via Kottke

David Beckham vs. Genoa

Beckham has now scored his second goal for A.C. Milan and is starting to grow some serious roots over in Italy. Watch this free kick curl in near post from what should be an impossible angle at the professional level. What a great shot.

Read the common man's fallout over in the comments section on SBI.

Saying Bye to Sarah and Jimmy

Our friends Sarah (in the Adidas shirt) and Jimmy are moving to FL and that pretty much sucks - we will miss them here in Lafayette. Both Sarah and Jimmy are veterans of our co-ed team AFC. While Jimmy is already out of town, we got to have dinner with Sarah tonight at a local Thai restaurant with our friends Jen and Josh (to Sara's left).

#102

Based on my sizing up of the candidates in the jury pool, I think I was a shoo-in for foreman. Unfortunately we never went to trial. Oh well. There is always next time.

Jury Tweets

For the moment, I am covering jury duty via Twitter. Not sure how long that will last since I don't want to disrespect the judicial system by doing so.

Google Type Ahead

Google's type ahead feature in the search box is really cool. You type a phrase and it starts to show you a drop down list of popular phrases that start with what you typed. I saw a similar screen shot on Rocketboom and thought it was fascinating...so I had to try it. I like the one that reads: Obama is my homeboy.


Of course, I had to try this with Bush as well....

Thinking than that I wanted to get out of jury duty today, I tried to type in "I want to get out of jury duty" and had to stop when I saw the top hit after "I want to..."

Rather than die. I figure I should leave to get to the court house. I did hear yesterday that there was a bomb threat there. In response to this fact, my wife says: "There is a bomb threat there every day."

That didn't make me feel any better. Wish me luck.

Roster

As the spring season approaches, many nights this past week have been spent in this pose as I figure out what the roster looks like this upcoming season.

Horse Feathers - Curs in the Weeds

It's like marrow without bone / to live in a house with no home

I have settled into a mellow afternoon, just got out of my last meeting for the day and have an hour or so until I need to leave for practice. This song really resonates with my mellow, overcast afternoon. Horse Feathers are from Portland, Oregon and play a lot of string instruments that make them instant favorites for me.



Pretty dark (yet beautiful) song about an "...overlooked middle child in a household 'where the son is the darkest seed.'"

The Gaslight Anthem - Great Expectations

Now that the day is halfway under my belt, here is a little more of an uptempo tune from The Gaslight Anthem called Great Expectations. No real video here, just the album cover. Cool tune.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

The Gaslight Anthem - Here's Lookin' at You Kid

I think I have been slow on the uptake regarding The Gaslight Anthem from New Brunswick, NJ - but they have been hitting my playlists pretty hard these days. This is an acoustic version of Here's Lookin' At You Kid performed by Brian Fallon.



Despite that fact that New Brunswick is very close to my home town, I can assure you I am not being biased about this band. They might be holding the spot for one of my best finds of 2009...yes I know it is kind of early to make that claim.

Sample

Sample Lady: Hello sir. Would you like a sample?
Me: Is that beer?
Sample Lady: Yup. Red Stripe!
Me: I have never seen anyone giving out beer samples at a grocery store. That's weird.
Sample Lady: I've never done it before either. It is weird.

CoolFlick

I need to prepare myself for how much time I will be able to waste just playing with this wicked interface for finding new images on Flickr. CoolFlick's interface runs on cooliris (which I may download after I play with this some more) and allows you to slide through pages of thumbnails at different levels of zoom with the flick of your mouse. Awesome.

Two Gallants - Steady Rollin'

One of the all time favorites from the collection of BOB Monthly Mixes. Good lazy rock song for a Sunday afternoon.

But I shot my wife today,
dropped her body in the Frisco bay.
I had no choice it was the only way.
Death's comin', I'm still runnin'.

Well I come from the old time baby,
too late for you to save me.
If I remain then I'm to blame.
But if you should ever need me,
I'll go where'er you lead me.
It's all the same, the same old game.

Out waltzin' with the Holy Ghost,
from the Bowery to the Barbary Coast.
The land I'm from you know I love the most.
Steady rollin', I keep goin'.

Jozy, Scooter and White Fang

Sometimes Jozy has bad days at the dog park and some days she has great days. Today was a great day. After the initial awkward greetings that she is prone to, Jozy settled in with the pack, wrestled with her new friend Scooter (who kept trying to hump Jozy), and ran away from White Fang a whole heck of a lot. It's always a nice day around the house after Jozy plays like this...and she is sleeping as I type.

Of course, after a cold wet morning at the dog park, Jozy is always treated to a quick doggie shower in the backyard.

Dogobie

Dogobie is a daily routine for the last couple of weeks. Jozy is a beast...and is preparing to take on the world champions at canine disk competitions.

What do Yo-Yo Ma and Milli Vanilli have in common?

Both have engaged in "lip syncing" in their own fashion.

To be fair, the quartet at the inauguration almost had to use the recording due to the extreme cold weather hampering the function of the instruments used. So I don't think any fair person will really criticize this act. However, it is a pretty interesting little factoid.

Inauguration - Satellite View

The Big Picture has another set of awesome photos posted, this time from the inauguration. Check out the satellite view taken at 11:19AM EDT. Look at all of the masses of people. Pretty neat.

1,474-Megapixel Photo During President Obama’s Inaugural Address

I've posted about HD pictures, or Gigapixel photos here and here previously. Turns out someone (David Bergman) took one of Obama's Inauguration. This is really cool. Check out a full screen, with zoom and pan capabilities here.

Antoni's

Having dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in Lafayette, Antoni's Italian Cafe. Try the tenderloin in the Marsala wine sauce, its worth it.

Scandal?

Scandal at a local high school? Check it out here, breaking news on Life of Mark.

Badly Drawn Boy - The Shining

Old BDB tune that has resurfaced on playlists around our house...love this song.

Posting

Posting to BOB.

it's the good ones that will last

It was not easy for me and my wife to pick or favorite tracks from all of the monthly mixes made in 2008, but we eventually settled on this list. And I would be lying to you if I told you we didn't have new contenders occasionally popping up in conversation when we listen to some of the mixes over again. Take it for leave it, here are the top 20.

1. Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur ~ Sigur Rós
2. The Ballad of the RAA ~ The Rural Alberta Advantage
3. Plus Ones ~ Okkervil River
4. Stay Positive ~ The Hold Steady
5. A Sunday Smile ~ Beirut
6. The Girl ~ City And Colour
7. Radio Song ~ The Felice Brothers
8. Flume ~ Bon Iver
9. Rocky Took A Lover ~ BellX1
10. Latitudes ~ Pela
11. Apartment Story ~ The National
12. Walcott ~ Vampire Weekend
13. Anytown Graffiti ~ Pela
14. Despite What You've Been Told ~ Two Gallants
15. She Wakes When She Dreams ~ Lucero
16. Backwards with Time ~ The Avett Brothers
17. High Heeled Stomp ~ The Figs
18. The Temptation Of Adam ~ Josh Ritter
19. Southern Comfort ~ Arrah and the Ferns
20. Heima (Studio Version) ~ Sigur Rós

Inauguration

Taken while watching President Obama's inaugural address.

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

With eyes fixed on the horizon...

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist. "

What a memorable morning. Once again, I walk away from a speech by our new president, inspired and full of hope for the future. Text of the inaugural acceptance speech can be found here. I found it sobering, yet hopeful; confident yet humble.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

History Will Keep Me Warm

It is difficult to focus on work this morning and I imagine that like most people in the world, you may be struggling focusing at the moment as well. As I watch coverage of the inauguration this morning on TV, one of the random quotes mentioned from someone in attendance was, "History will keep me warm."

The motorcade is now proceeding to the Capital building. It is awesome to watch.

Landon Donovan vs. FC Kaiserslautern

In case you haven't been following, Landon Donovan is starting to make an impression in the Bundesliga. Granted, this goal occured in a friendly, but the guy has scored at least 2 goals and had one assist. Gotta like the stats...and the header. Check it out.

via No Short Corners

Coach

Play Date

I shot this video last night when Jozy's friend Maggie came over to play. These two just love to go at it in the backyard and it is fun to watch. This particular exchange ends in a little bit of an accident...

Fresh Market

Fresh Market is a staple on our weekend. Cramming it into the morning routine before the playoff games kickoff is always a challenge but we managed to succeed this time...thanks to the DVR.

SPECIAL 1 TV

Well, that didn't last long. Looks like The Special One is coming back to You Tube.



via Soccer by Ives

World Cup 2010 Advertisement

Check out this building sized advertisement for a company named MTN (an official sponsor of World Cup 2010). Found via the World Cup Blog, with the original source being Gregor Rohrig, whose site has some other great photos from South Africa.

Buena Vista Social Club - Chan Chan

Continuing on the Cuban theme, here is one of my favorite Cuban songs ever. You can find out more about Buena Vista Social Club at their website.

Saturday

Chilling on the couch after a day out on the soccer field and dinner at a Cuban restaurant.

Coach

Player: Remember when Coach liked the song "My Dougie"?
Coach: I still do. I'm fresh.
...
Coach: I'm also into Kanye West these days. Love Lockdown.
Player: If Coach likes it it, you know it's played.

(Note: link to My Dougie contains lyrics that are definitely NSFW.)

Back to Work

After almost a week of the flu, I got back to work for a decent portion of the day yesterday. Still feel under the weather, but definitely good enough to start contributing to society again. You can only watch so much CSI before you go crazy and hallucinate something like Grissom leaving the show. Did that really happen? Sigh.

World Cup 2010 Tickets

Tickets to World Cup 2010 go on sale on February 20th. I have yet to research the process and timelines for all of the different types of ticket sales that will be available (this process usually occurs in phases), but I can tell you already that I plan on being there.

Making Boots

A peek behind the scenes at Nike, making custom boots for today's top players.

Reflection

I participated in a photography challenge yesterday on Facebook. Participants were presented with a theme and then given 24 hours to take and post a photograph with this theme involved. I opted for a self portrait, since that is my latest project on this site.

The View

It's been an exciting few days on the couch for me...trying to beat this cold by watching hours of CSI NY and CSI Miami.

Manchester United vs Chelsea - Corner Kick

During the Manchester United vs Chelsea game this past weekend, United pulled a trick corner kick out of their hat that was so tricky the ref was fooled. They scored a goal but the referee took it away because he did not correctly follow the series of events. Crazy! via Pele1410

European All Star Game...in NY

New York in June....sounds like a good time to be making a trip to the Big Apple as the following roster of European All Stars are scheduled to come to NYC and play a charity game (June 14th to be exact). Anyone interested in a road trip? via NYT

"The European contingent, in addition to Silvestre, will include Thierry Henry (France/Barcelona), Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast/Chelsea), Wayne Rooney (England/Manchester United), Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal/Manchester United), Nicolas Anelka (France/Chelsea), Emmanuel Adebayor (Togo/Arsenal), Manuel Almunia (Spain/Arsenal), Frank Lampard (England/Chelsea), Ryan Giggs (Wales/Manchester United) and others. Silvestre said he hopes to enlist Arsenal Coach Arsene Wenger as the all-star’s manager and perhaps entice Pierluigi Collina out of retirement to work the game as the referee."

I remember being a kid and having my father point out Pierluigi as he refereed games in the Serie A on TV. How cool would it be if he did the game?!?!

The All Stars For Hope website can be found here. Learn more about the charity and buy tickets.

I'm On Setanta Sports: Final Episode

According to everyone's favorite soccer show host, I'm On Setanta Sports has aired its last and final episode. I've received two emails about this "apocalyptic" news already today. Start the mourning now and watch Jose's farewell. And remember, Be Champions.

The Growth of Walmart Across America

Awesome use of data visualization here. Click this link and then watch Walmart take over America. Really cool stuff.

The Necessities

12 hours + another countless more this weekend in front of the TV. I'm definitely coming down with some sort of cold or flu and the only question is if it will get worse or better. I've spent the last 2 days on the couch with the occasional trip out for coffee or food. Eventually though, you do run out of gas.

Sufjan Stevens - Sister Winter

Technically, this may be considered a Christmas song, but I am going to classify it as one of my favorite songs of the winter.

NFC Championship Tickets?

I'm not happy that the Giants lost today...but with the NFC Championship game being played in Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona...the Cardinals ticket sales have seen a drastic turn this season. Apparently, the Cardinals sold out tickets to the game against the Eagles in six minutes. That's a big deal for a team that needed an extension from the NFL to sell their remaining tickets when they hosted the Atlanta Falcons in the first round of the postseason. They need to do that to ensure the game would be televised locally! via Bloomberg.

In other news, rumor has it that my brother has access to a box office out there. I wonder how much he loves me?

Take Out

Lazy day yesterday. Coming down with some type of flu I think. Left the house twice. Once for coffee and once for take out.

By the way, self timed portraits while driving at night = not a recommended safe activity on the road.

Grand Bargain

I liked this exchange between George and Obama this morning on This Week. There is something refreshing to me about someone telling me that we will all need to put skin in the game and make a sacrifice in order to right the ship.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Let me press you on this, at the end of the day, are you really talking about over the course of your presidency some kind of a grand bargain? That you have tax reform, health care reform, entitlement reform, including Social Security and Medicare where everybody in the country is going to have to sacrifice something, accept change for the greater good?

OBAMA: Yes.

...

STEPHANOPOULOS: And eventually sacrifice from everyone.

OBAMA: Everybody is going to have to give. Everybody is going to have to have some skin in the game.

Portuguese Water Hound

So on the tail end of Obama's interview on ABC News' This Week with George Stephanopoulos, I probably joined 25% of America in trying to find out what a Portuguese Water Hound looks like exactly. Turns out it was nothing like what I expected.

"Their great swimming ability and webbed feet enabled them to take messages between boats and to aid the villagers in handling the nets in the water, as well as "herding" the fish into the nets. They caught any fish that escaped from the nets, and would dive into deep water to retrieve lost articles and "men overboard." These dogs are credited with good sight and scent, announcing a school of fish from their place in the bow...Sitting in the bow during heavy fog, they served as a predecessor to the foghorn, barking continuously to warn others of the boat's presence. "

Welcome!

A special welcome to my mother today, who just received a laptop this past Christmas and is now fired up on email and surfing the internet. Love you Mom!

Referee

Waitress: Are you a referee? Do I recognize you from somewhere? I used to play soccer.
Referee: Sorry about the game.

Note: I am not the referee, I quit doing that years ago. I just happened to be at dinner with him since he is a friend of mine.

Coach

John Prine and Bonnie Raitt - Angel from Montgomery

I am just starting to get to know John Prine and I think I am going to have a really enjoyable journey. Check out this live version of Angel from Montgomery that he performed with Bonnie Raitt. Great song.

Is My Computer On

Check here.



via Rocketboom

Football with Vampires

Watching the BCS Championship game.

Not particularly cheering for either team, but definitely interested in the competition itself. My wife cannot put the Twilight series down. I think she wants to be a vampire. If she goes goth, be forewarned.

PDF to Word

Definitely going to try this software out: Free PDF to Word converter, found on LifeHacker's Most Popular Free Windows downloads of 2008.

If I Were a Free Fallin' Boy (Beyonce vs. Tom Petty)

This is another DJ Earworm mashup that I have been enjoying lately. To be honest, I never thought I would like this genre of music. However, I think I was wrong. This is a good tune, and a very creative combination of 2 songs.

On the Road

Headed home - good trip but it will be nice to get back.

This Is Where We Live

I didn't read as many book as I would have liked in 2008. I plan on fixing that in 2009 and getting back into the swing of things. A good book that won't let you put it down is an awesome thing, just like this video. I know my wife agrees, she has been pulling all-nighters reading Twilight this week.

This Is Where We Live from 4th Estate on Vimeo.

Fatigue

Nights on the road consist of long work days and usually more at night after dinner. Result is more often then not, fatigue.

Elbow - One Day Like This

Here's an uplifting tune for your Wednesday morning. I was skeptical on the first listen, until I hit 2:39. Give this one a chance, especially if you are looking for a condo. Happy hump day.

Blitzen Trapper - Black River Killer

I've been enjoying this song a lot. This is my first introduction to this band from Portland, Oregon. Hopefully the rest of their material sounds similar.

Nights in Hotels

Ahh....the romantic life of a business traveler preparing for work the next day.

Cook

Self portrait, as I "contribute to the household."

Burgers and Oven Fried Potatoes with a Berry, Mango side salad. Yum.

Dempsey vs Chelsea

I haven't been following the EPL to much at all lately, but news of Clint Dempsey's 2 goals against Chelsea has got me interested in Fulham for the second half of the season. They are on a 9 game unbeaten streak thanks to this 89th minute goal from Clint. Why in the world Chelsea didn't have anyone on either post is beyond me.

Clint's first goal in the game can be seen below. It is a cheeky little flick from 3 yards out with his back to the goal.

One Year In 40 Seconds

Eirik Solheim captured a full year with photos documenting the passing of four seasons at one spot - assembled into this incredible video lasting 40 seconds. Really cool.


One year in 40 seconds from Eirik Solheim on Vimeo.

US MNT: Goals of 2008

Here's a video of all of the US MNT goals from 2008. If you did not appreciate the importance of crosses and set pieces before this video, you will after.

Don't Tread on Me.

ESPN: Top 5 Goals of 2008

Definitely some spectacular moments of brilliance in this set of goals. Enjoy.

Boom Goes the Dynamite

Endlessly entertaining. Rocketboom's, Know Your Meme explains the origin and evolution of Boom Goes the Dynamite. I confess that I did not know this phrase until stumbling on this video, which may mean that I live under a rock somewhere. Not sure. However, don't be surprised if you hear this in my everyday vocabulary at some point.

Know Your Meme: Boom Goes The Dynamite from Rocketboom on Vimeo.

You can watch the original Brian Collins broadcast here. My favorite part is when he says "Oh No." Watch the video above before you watch the original broadcast, otherwise you will feel really really bad for this guy. If you have the full story though, you just feel kind of bad.

Quick Cure

If you have to work today and need something to make you laugh a little bit, check out this clip below. As the Eagles were busy pounding the Cowboys this past Sunday, the Eagle's owner (Jeff Lurie) was busy high fiving his wife's face. Too funny.

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to take a second and wish everyone a safe, healthy and happy 2009. Thanks for stopping by this corner of the world every once in a while.

Happy New Year everyone!

1. The top photo is from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
2. The bottom photo is of two Buddhist monks watching fireworks in Kunming, China.

Both photos taken from the NYT, New Years Around the World slide show.

Okkervil River - Plus Ones

When assembling our favorite songs of 2008, we were not just considering songs that were released in 2008. We were simply looking at songs that made the mixes of 2008 (so the songs could be from any year). This tune from Okkervil River was released in 2007. Based on lyrical creativity alone it made it to the final cut. The song is great overall and is one of my wife's top picks of the year.

In this particular case, I like the studio version better than this live version but they have never released an official video for this song.

Lyrics to Plus Ones by Okkervil River (found on Stranger to Blue)

No one wants to hear about your 97th tear, so dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear. I am all out of love to mouth into your ear, and not above letting a love song disappear before it's written. And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon that was seen shooting from the window of your room, to be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom and land, deflated, in some neighbor state that's strewn with 99 others.

8 Chinese brothers; well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others, swinging his arms.

You would probably die before you shot up 9 miles high, your eyes dilated as light plays upon the sight of TVC16 as it sings you goodnight. Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45, I hope you're feeling better. The 51st way to leave your lover, admittedly, doesn't seem to be as gentle or as clean as all the others, leaving its scars.

All in the after hours of some Greenpoint bar, I told you that I can't listen, baby, about the 4th time you were a lady, and how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness, stripped away by days of being hailed as "Your Highness." And what's new, pussycat, is that you were once a lioness; they cut your claws out. Kitten, not everyone's keen on lighting candle 17. The party's done. The cake's all gone. The plates are clean. The chauffeur's leering from the cheerless mezzanine. And, in just 1 year, the straight world can pay to see what they've been missing.

You were caught kissing 8 Chinese brothers, but there's a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others, stinking with charm. And he says, "Let's get lost. Let them send out alarms." He says, "Let's get crossed out and come to harm. Let's make the world's stupidest stand and truly mean it. Let's hit the limit of laws over lovers' arms - no, let's exceed it."